Shrink

SHRINK MICHAEL DEES Dean Martin SHRINK Ava, please send in my next patient. DEAN How you doin Doc? SHRINK Great, how can I help you? DEAN Doc, I don’t know what’s happening. I’ve been having these hallucinations, I think I’m Dean Martin. SHRINK Tell me about your self, are you married.

SHRINK MICHAEL DEES DEAN My wife’s name is Jeanie, just like Dean’s. SHRINK Tell me about your relationship. DEAN Well Doc, I may be married but I’m not a fanatic about it. SHRINK Hm... DEAN You know, Everybody Love’s Somebody , Sometime. SHRINK That’s what I’ve heard.

SHRINK MICHAEL DEES DEAN Then add the wedding bells One house where lovers dwell Three little kids for the flavor, now I’ve got seven kids, just like Dean, the three words you hear most around my house are “hello’ “goodbye, and I’m pregnant. SHRINK Seven kids, sounds like a happy family. DEAN It’s like an open door at my house, we just let the good times in. SHRINK Dean liked his Adult Beverage’s do you still take a sip now and then?” DEAN Naw, I don’t drink anymore, I freeze it and eat like a popsicle.

SHRINK MICHAEL DEES SHRINK Has anything unusual ever happened to you while you’ve been drinking? DEAN You know, I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. SHRINK Yep, that sounds like Dean alright. DEAN I live in “Palem” Springs, there aint no e in Palm Springs, anyway I must remind the mayor that I look a lot like Dean Martin. SHRINK What did the Mayor do? DEAN He put a new sign on the end of my street, “crawl and don’t crawl.” As a matter of fact the mayor is a wonderful guy, one day he sent me Candy, not Chocolates but the girl from the movie.

SHRINK MICHAEL DEES SHRINK How nice of him. When did you start thinking you were Dean Martin. DEAN It probably started when a was in my late teens. I was “standing on a corner watching all the girls go by.” I told my Dad and he gave me advice, he said, I told you son.. “You’re nobody till somebody Loves You.” SHRINK He was right. DEAN He said son “That’s Amore!” SHRINK What other Dean Martin traits do you have? SHRINK Do you have a stable marriage?

SHRINK MICHAEL DEES DEAN Sure I do, you know my wife asked me to look at some furs, so I took her to the zoo! SHRINK Any other problems you care to talk about? DEAN Yea Doc, the other day I had a cold, so I went to the doctor he noticed I was having the chills, so he put me in a room with a woman that was having hot flashes. SHRINK Interesting. DEAN I’m thinking about taking my wife on a European trip to Italy. SHRINK That sounds great, anyplace special. DEAN I’m thinking about Sorrento, then taking her to another romantic city for an “Evening in Roma.” SHRINK That sounds like a great vacation. How did you talk her into a trip to Italy. DEAN Simple, I said, Let's fly way up to the clouds Away from the maddening crowds Let us leave the confusion and all disillusion behind. SHRINK You know, you sound like Dean that more we talk.

SHRINK MICHAEL DEES DEAN Well Doc, I hope you can find a cure for this Dean Martin double personality I’m having. SHRINK I know I can help you, we’re just gonna have to work out your duel personalities. DEAN Thanks Doc There’s a “million and one” chances you’ll make this work out. But I feel a connection, because “something in my heart keeps saying My someplace is here.” Dean leaves. SHRINK Eva, would you send in my next patient. Hey, Larry how are you doing. LARRY You know Doc, I think I’m Foster Brooks. Both look into the camera.

The Shrink Wise Guys Live Written by Mike Colonna Michael Dees / Tony Dijerlando DEES Ava please send my next patient in. Tony “The Godfather,” how are you feeling today? TONY I don’t know how to feel. Doc I’m just recovering from the flu. DEES Do you feel better? TONY You know Doc, it was actually a wonderful experience.” The doctor said you have a rare prognosis. He said I have good news and bad news, So what’s the bad news, you could die in 10 days, but then again you could live to be a hundred. What’s the good news, the disease is so rare they going to name it after you. Tony AA